5 Parenting Phrases You Should Use At Every Age

Helping Children Manage their Emotions

Feb 28

In this newsletter, we provide you with notes on 5 Parenting Phrases You Should Use At Every Age, an episode of Flusterclux With Lynn Lyons: For Parents Who Worry.

Hosted by Lynn Lyons, a therapist, author, speaker, and one of the world's experts on helping parents, kids, and teens manage anxiety. She talks with co-host and sister-in-law Robin Hutson, the co-founder of Flusterclux.

Read our notes below.

Topics Covered in this Summary

Difficult Emotions

5 Phrases Parents Should Use for their Children
Takeaway

Difficult Emotions

Many children have fears and worries, and they may occasionally feel sad and hopeless.

Strong fears can appear at various stages of development. Toddlers, for example, are frequently distressed about being separated from their parents, even if they are safe and well-cared for.

Although children's fears and worries are normal, persistent or extreme forms of fear and sadness may indicate anxiety or depression.

Typically, a child will encounter a new situation and will require some time to learn about it, work with it, and become used to it (if required).

As parents, we don't want our children to be stressed out and let anxiety rule their lives. Know that there are things we can do to help them, such as providing emotional support, working on practical strategies together, and locating the appropriate professional help if they need it.

5 Phrases Parents Should Use for their Children

Words of encouragement can help our children see their own potential. By sharing positive phrases, we can help them build confidence, feel loved, and give them the opportunity to tap into their fullest potential.

Here are the five foundational phrases every parent should have in their back pockets:

The validating phrase. By saying, "Of course, I understand why you feel that way," we're telling kids that it's okay to feel that way. It's allowing their emotions to exist.
One way to teach our children that every problem has a solution is by asking them "Is there anything I can do to help?" or simply saying "How can I help?" We teach them to manage their emotions by offering help and it is one way to let them know that it is important not to dismiss their feelings because there is always a way out of it.
Give them the words to understand that what they are feeling is only temporary. "I understand how you're feeling right now, but remember that this is only temporary, and you won't always feel like this," you can say. "This is a part of you where you are growing and learning". "This is not who you are and you will not always feel this way".
Manage your big emotions when dealing with your kids. Take deep breaths and practice pausing when you are upset. If you are dealing with younger kids, you can say "I'm upset and I need a minute to think about my response" or tell your bigger kids "I need to take some time and go outside to think".
Take an interest in your children's accomplishments by noticing them. Make sure to sound enthusiastic and ask them "Wow! How did you do that?" or "I'm impressed, tell me how you did that". This way, you can assist your children in organizing their thoughts and interacting creatively.

Takeaway

Communicate with your children. Use language that is understandable for your child and appropriate to their age. Be clear, and specific, and do not use offensive words.
If you are upset with your child about something, make sure that your criticism and comments are directed at their behavior and not at them as a person.
Listening actively helps children to feel heard and understood. By using gestures such as encouraging smiles and affirming nods you can show that you are engaged with what your child is saying and really care. Getting down to the same eye level as your child as they speak to you can help them feel safer and more connected to you.
The most important thing we need to do is be more compassionate toward our children. It is impossible to be the best, but if our children are healthy and happy, we have succeeded as parents.

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