Helping Kids Handle Their Big Feelings
Helping Kids Handle Their Big Feelings
Managing emotions and difficult topics
In this newsletter, we provide you with notes on Big Little Feelings - Toddler Experts Talking Toddlers, an episode of Raising Good Humans with Dr Aliza.
Hosted by Dr. Aliza Pressman, a developmental psychologist with over 15 years of experience working with families and the creator of the Raising Good Humans Podcast.
She is joined by Kristin Gallant and Deena Margolin, creators of Big Little Feelings.
Read our notes below.
Topics Covered in this Summary
How To Help Kids Manage Their Emotions
How To Handle The Topic of Death With Children
How To Help Kids Manage Their Emotions
As parents, sometimes we confuse discipline with punishment, but they are not the same.
The difference between punishment and discipline goes deeper than just the meaning of the words. Punishment is when we make someone feel bad about something they've done and focus on making a child suffer for breaking the rules, while discipline is about teaching them how to make a better choice next time.
Take, for instance, the ability to control one's impulses. When they are frustrated, we want the children to say, "I'm feeling so mad," rather than resort to physical aggression.
It is essential to recognize and understand the emotions that your child is experiencing. Tell them that it is fine for them to feel angry, but that crossing boundaries by hurting someone else is not acceptable. And when they are calm, build connections with them and teach them coping skills by taking a deep breath and talking to them.
Below are some effective ways to help children manage their emotions:
Identify the root cause. Ask questions. Ask them why they are feeling angry, mad, or sad.
Address the source of the problem. Brainstorm and solve problems together. By doing so, you'll be able to bond with each other while also teaching your child how to solve issues.
Explain natural consequences. It teaches children how to make good decisions that will lead to the proper outcome.
Use encouraging words. Give your children assurance by giving them a hug or letting them know that you will always support them.
Make the children feel emotionally safe, and support them when they are experiencing these big feelings.
Parenting can be done in a variety of ways; therefore, there is no one best approach to raising a child. Always remember that you are doing the best you can and that no amount of effort can ever be perfect.
How To Handle The Topic of Death with Children
One of the biggest feelings a child can feel is that of death. The death of a loved one is painful and complicated. For children experiencing loss for the first time, it can be as confusing as it is upsetting.
The best course of action is to be honest, despite your natural desire to protect your child. By explaining what happened, you will win over your child's trust and help them overcome their grief over the loss of a loved one.
Be kind and honest with children of all ages, but be especially clear with young children, and don't use euphemisms. A young child won't understand "we lost someone," so saying it will confuse them. Calmly, but directly, make it clear that they will not see that person again. Let them know that it's okay not to see them again and that it's okay to be sad. Children can sense when something is wrong, and we need to address it by giving them closure and a way to help them process their feelings. Make sure to talk through things openly and in an age-appropriate manner.
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Listen to the original episode