How Do I Get My Teen to Take Charge?
How Do I Get My Teen to Take Charge?
Teenagers are more at ease being told what to do by adults who are not their parents.
In this thread, we provide you with notes on How Do I Get My Teen to Take Charge of Her Life?, an episode of Ask Lisa. The Psychology of Parenting with Dr. Lisa Damour.
Dr. Lisa Damour, an author of two New York Times best-selling books, takes your questions, along with her co-host Reena Ninan, a journalist and mom of two.
Save time and read our notes below on helping teens, and ourselves.
Topics Covered in this Summary
How to get teens to take charge of school applications?
Communicating with teens
Teens and social skills
How to help your teen
Dr. Lisa’s Parenting To Go
How to get Teens to take Charge of their School Applications?
This is a common among teenagers and meeting them where they are is a good start. It is new to them and they may require us to help them through it, step-by-step.
This may look like doing it for them, then with them, and finally, offering support as they do it by themselves.
Think of it like tying a child’s shoelaces; first we do it for them, then we teach them, and lastly, they will do it on their own while we stand by.
You can use this approach for summer jobs, college applications or any new process where you teen is interacting with adults in a business sense.
Communicating with Teens
One of the beautiful things about having a high school junior is that there are a lot of other adults in their life. There may be a coach, a college counselor, or an advisor at school. So a strategy that parents have at their disposal is to call on those people.
Practical example:
Recruitment application - Call the coach to discuss. You might ask questions like What is the recruitment process? What do we need to be doing? How do we communicate this to our children, is it done at school?
Teenagers are more at ease being told what to do by adults who are not their parents.
Teens and Social Skills
It's really common and maybe more so in the wake of the pandemic where teens spend a lot of time really close to home in a very narrow circle. One way of helping your teen expand their circle and help them with social skills is to help them get a summer job.
Potential benefits of a summer job:
Jobs in retail and hospitality can assist in communication with adults. This will help them boost their confidence.
Summer jobs are an advantage for college applications. They could also provide your teen with the skills or confidence to complete their applications.
They could help reserved and introverted teens to advocate for themselves and talk to adults.
Parents may be doing a huge amount of work to get our teens on board but it is important to help our kids get there because that is where the magic happens.
How to Help Your Teen
Have discussions with them. Talk to them about making a plan.
Teens take initiative when they truly want something. But sometimes, they might need a little help and coaching to get them there.
Dr. Lisa’s Parenting To Go
Have a conversation with your teen and ask them what they need from you to be able to help them.
Invite the teen into the conversation as a teammate and not someone you are going up against.
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