How to Get Your Kids to Talk to You
How to Get Your Kids to Talk to You
Creating Meaningful Conversations With Your Kids
In this newsletter, we provide you with notes on How to get your kids to talk to you, an episode of Parenting Our Future with Robbin McManne.
Robbin McManne is a certified parent coach, author, podcaster, and speaker. Her guest, Rebecca Rolland, author of The Art of Talking with Children, has over a decade of experience in speech and language and is a mom to two.
Read our notes below.
Topics Covered in this Summary
How to Get Your Children to Talk to You
How Do We Get Kids to Talk About Their Day
How to Get Your Children to Talk to You
When your kids are young, you might get the impression that they never stop talking. They are taking in information from their environment, and from their perspective, you are the person who knows the most about everything.
As their children grow into teenagers, parents may feel as if they are on the outside looking in and that their children no longer value their opinions.
Communication is important in family relationships, which remain forever. Kids feel loved and supported when they can talk freely. Parents who know what's going on in their kids' lives can spot issues and guide their children accordingly.
Listed below are some methods that can be used to communicate more effectively:
Listening well is the foundation for trust and respect, but many listen to respond instead of to understand. Kids won’t express thoughts and feelings if parents don’t listen.
Too often, we get busy and think we’re paying attention, but kids may not see it that way. Set aside distractions, dedicate less time to empty or time-consuming activities, and be more attentive.
Overreacting will destroy sharing. When your child expresses concern, don't judge. If your first reaction is to jump to conclusions, your child won't bother sharing with you in the future.
Offer alternatives as opposed to lecturing. Often times teenagers frequently stop listening because they lack the emotional maturity necessary to think abstractly. Your children will be able to trust you as a source of assistance rather than antagonism if you show empathy and make some helpful suggestions.
The most important lessons are to allow your children "silent time" to speak, to be specific in your questions, to listen to them when they speak, to notice when they do talk, and to be curious.
As humans, sometimes knowing we have the love and unconditional support of our families can give us enough courage and strength to deal with a problem. Letting your child know you have confidence in their judgment but can help if they call for it can be exactly what they need.
How Do We Get Kids to Talk About Their Day?
You run the risk of making your child uneasy and worried when you treat communication like a scheduled activity. Instead, make regular communication a part of your life.
If you normalize communication when kids are young, you'll lay the groundwork so that when they have a problem, they'll want your advice.
Keeping the conversation going can be done in various ways, such as:
Family meals give everyone a chance to catch up and talk. You can ask specific questions or let the kids choose the topic. Plus, this can teach kids how to talk with others in a group.
Walks can help you spend time with your kids one-on-one. If they know they'll have time alone with a parent, it can be a good time to talk.
You can teach your kids life skills and have fun at the same time by cooking together. Working toward a common goal can also make your kids feel safe when they talk about how they feel.
Your child might not want to talk to you, but car rides are a great time to do so. Since you're driving and paying attention to the road, there's less room for awkwardness.
Your kids will only be kids for a limited time, and you want to be there for them and want them to feel safe talking to you. If you make sure to listen to them with respect and kindness, you can give them support and ideas without making decisions for them. Don't forget to stay calm. Your kids will want to talk to you honestly, and your family ties will be strong.
Useful Links
Follow All Star Parent on Facebook
Follow All Star Parent on Instagram
Follow All Star Parent on Twitter
Listen to the original episode