Parental Loneliness
As parents we are seldom alone but that doesn't mean we don't get lonely
In this newsletter, we provide you with notes on Let's Talk About Parent Loneliness, an episode of Stroller Coaster: A Parenting Podcast.
Hosted by CNN and NBC news anchor Lynn Smith, Stroller Coaster: A Parenting Podcast cover topics from social emotional learning, to feeding your kids, to understanding your own parenting experiences, and so much more.
She is joined by Dr. Juli Fraga, an award winning top psychologist that specializes in maternal mental health.
Read our notes below.
Topics Covered in this Summary
Parental Loneliness explained
Overcoming Parental Loneliness
Parental Loneliness explained
It is very typical for parents to feel lonely. Loneliness affects more than just new parents. It's challenging to retain old social links and form new ones, even though this is exactly what you need to overcome feelings of isolation as a parent.
Not only do you feel isolated, but you may believe you are the only parent in the world going through this. You are not. This is particularly true for parents. We spend a lot of time with our children, especially when they're small, we're practically never physically alone, but that bond doesn't satisfy every desire we have for connection.
Loneliness is silence but it's a particular silence of worry, shame, guilt and the feeling of not living up to this vision of parenting. Isolation and loneliness will try to convince you that you are completely alone in the world. Perhaps that you are the only one who feels this way, and there is no one to whom you can turn.
Neither of those statements is correct. Parental loneliness is common and normal.
Remember that one-third of all parents worldwide feel the same way you do. Consider that for a moment. It's not a small figure.
Overcoming Parental Loneliness
Lonely parents, particularly those who are parenting alone, may feel like they have to do everything on their own. You are not broken or a "bad" parent if you are lonely. It's quite normal, and you actually have more options than you realize.
Here are ways to deal with Parental Loneliness:
Figure out the origin of it. Spend time with yourself. If we're busy taking care of our baby we don't have access to our own mind or time to think or name about what we're feeling.
Figure out what you desire. Identify what is the need that pops out. A need to go out of the house or having alone time even just for 20 mins. Anything that will help you relax.
Take action. Self reflect or create a journal. Go for a walk or talk to your partner, family, friends or even strangers.
Ask for what you need. Having needs doesn't make you needy and selfish. Take breaks and take care of yourself. It’s okay to ask for what you need and be very clear about it when you do.
Remind yourself this won’t last forever. The loneliness that comes with raising newborns doesn’t last forever because eventually, your children grow up. It might not feel like it right now, but it’s always in motion, moving ever-forward as time goes on.
To be the parent your children need you to be, you have to take care of yourself. You can and will make it through this moment in life. You simply need help to reconnect, and there’s no shame in that.
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Listen to the original episode