Parenting Strong-Willed Kids
Parenting Strong-Willed Kids
Understanding and Building Connection with your Strong-Willed Child
In this newsletter, we provide you with notes on Parenting Strong-Willed Kids with Wendy Snyder, an episode of 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms.
Hosted by Rachel Nielson, the creator of 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms who seeks to instill in all mamas a love for motherhood while offering tangible, actionable takeaways for growth. She is joined by Wendy Snyder, a positive parenting teacher who helps families parent by creating healthy and cooperative relationships. She is a Certified Parent Educator of Redirecting Children’s Behavior (RCB), and the creator of Fresh Start Family.
Read our notes below.
Topics Covered in this Summary
Parenting Strong-Willed Kids
3 Takeaways from Wendy Snyder
Parenting Strong-Willed Kids
Every child is a unique individual and will have certain characteristics that are endearing. Thus, some children are easy to parent, while others give a whole new meaning to the term "parenting."
Strong-willed children are often described as difficult or stubborn, but they have many positive qualities. They often have the courage to stand up for what they believe in, are innovative, and have strong leadership skills.
It's difficult to persuade a strong-willed child to do something they don't want to do. If your child exhibits misbehavior, the key is to find ways to help them channel their energy into something positive rather than crushing their spirit.
Traditional culture will send you the message that you have to control your kids. But, as parents, we have the power to mentor and guide our children with integrity instead of falling into judgment, frustration, or anger.
3 Takeaways from Wendy Snyder
Be aware of the way you are thinking about your strong-willed child, and practice thinking about them differently. When you catch yourself thinking of them as Demanding, Defiant, and Difficult, take a deep breath and try on some different words: Determined, Bold, Non-Conforming, and Leader. This small shift in the way you think about your child and talk to others about them will impact the way that you interact with your child.
On a day-to-day basis, have a goal to give your strong-willed kid opportunities for power and leadership as often as possible. This might look like putting them in charge of projects or duties, such as the president of the family holiday decoration committee or the captain of the car. Remember, it has to be something that interests them, especially as they get older, that they can feel a sense of ownership over.
Dissolve power struggles instead of engaging in them. One way to dissolve a power struggle is to give a child some choices or to use phrases like, "I can see that you don’t want to do this and we still need to get this done, so how are we going to get this done as a team?" You might also try to do something unexpected or playful to diffuse the tension and reassure your child that you're not trying to control them.
It takes practice, and having a support system helps. But when it gets very challenging, take a step back and remember that raising a strong-willed child is an honor.