Rewiring our Perceptions of Discipline
Rewiring our Perceptions of Discipline
What happens when the traditional methods of punishment are imposed on children
In this newsletter, we provide you with notes on Dr. Lori Desautels on rewiring our perceptions of discipline in schools, and, at home, an episode of TILT Parenting: Raising Differently Wired Kids.
Host Debbie Reber is a parenting activist, New York Times bestselling author, podcast host, and speaker.
Dr. Lori Desautels has been an assistant professor at Butler University since 2016, where she teaches both undergraduate and graduate programs in the College of Education. Her passion is to get her students interested in learning through the social and relational neurosciences as they apply to education. She does this by using the Applied Educational Neuroscience Framework and its learning principles and practises in her classes at Butler.
Read our notes below.
Topics Covered in this Summary
Discipline vs Punishment
Traditional Punishment and Children with Trauma or Heightened Nervous Systems
Helping Dysregulated Kids: Teacher or Parent Strategies
Discipline vs Punishment
The primary difference between discipline and punishment is that discipline involves teaching children a new behavior while punishment involves using fear to deter behavior.
Child discipline is probably the most difficult aspect of parenting. It can be exhausting, frustrating, and discouraging. It is one of the most common and challenging problems of parenthood.
Traditional Punishment and Children with Trauma or Heightened Nervous Systems
In the traditional model of discipline, rules for behavior are set up front. When students don't follow these rules, they get in trouble. The expectation is that, in the future, students will not misbehave because they want to avoid being punished again.
Adding rewards for good behavior to traditional discipline is a common way to change things. When we see a student doing the right thing, we give them an extra reward to encourage other students to do the same. For younger kids, a sticker or some other small thing is often enough.
However, what happens when children with trauma or heightened nervous systems are punished using traditional methods?
It could, for example bring about the below:
It can unintentionally escalate the stress response systems in the nervous system.
Time out: putting a child in a separate room, nagging, yelling, or making threats can often make a child feel worse.
A child is frequently re-traumatized by time-outs, isolation, nagging, scolding, and threats. Their growing stress response systems are already at an elevated level.
As a result, their nervous systems are set up to help them survive. When any of us suffer from long-term anxiety and stress, our nervous systems also start to protect us. We will then lack the ability to think clearly and be reasonable.
Helping Dysregulated Kids: Teacher or Parent Strategies
Occasionally, a student's frustration or anger causes them to lose emotional control. It could be because of problems with schoolwork, social situations, or even domestic concerns.
As you know, expecting a small child to know when their feelings are getting stronger is a big ask.
However, there are ways to do this, and below are a few strategies on how to get students or children started on the path to emotional regulation:
Showing children you care and respect their feelings will make them feel open, protected, and supported. No matter how absurd, once they're calm enough to think rationally, they can discuss whether their reaction was justified.
Training your students to think positively about themselves or situations goes a long way to helping to defuse these situations and get things back on track. Introducing positive affirmations into your classroom is a great way to encourage self-belief, self-confidence, and a growth mindset.
When children feel great frustration, anger, sadness, or anxiety, they become confused and may be unsure of how to control their emotions. By providing them with a quiet place to calm themselves down, children are then able to regain control over their own emotions. This also provides opportunities for diffusing a negative emotion or situation before it escalates.
As a teacher, you may want to immediately calm the outburst and get the class back on track. With 20 or more pupils to care for, giving an out-of-control student your full attention is difficult. Because of this, it’s important that we put in place strategies to help students with emotional regulation and help them press the reset button and regain control.