Supporting my child through change
Strategies to help your child feel safe, adjust, and build resilience
Hello to our All Star Parent family
This time of year may be challenging time for children and parents. A lot of change; the ending of school, summer break and the start of a new class or school, whatever the case may be. Today we have some great notes for you by experts Dr. Cassidy Freitas and Sarah Rosney on how to support kids through change.
The Holding Space Podcast is hosted by Dr. Cassidy Freitas, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Dr. Cassidy offers education in topics ranging from pregnancy, fertility, postpartum, parenting, partner relationships, emotional wellness, creative living and more.
She is joined by Sarah Rosney, a licensed clinical social worker, trauma expert, EMDR therapist, consultant, and training facilitator.
Read our notes below.
Topics Covered in this Summary
The Basics
Strategies to help your child feel safe, adjust, and build resilience
The basics
Big life changes are inevitable, but that doesn’t make them any easier for children (or adults) to manage. Structure and stability feel safe for children, so new experiences like divorce, moving, attending a new school, or welcoming a baby sibling can be scary.
Some kids have an easier time coping with uncertainty and new experiences than others. While others get stressed and worried when they don't know what to expect. Younger children may regress or take a step backward in behavior during times of change. These behaviors generally disappear as your child adjusts to the change.
As parents, you can help by being aware of what your child is feeling and by recognizing that reactions like these are normal. Talk to your child about what they are feeling and be a good listener. Offer extra love, encouragement, and support during this time.
How your child adapts to change will depend on his temperament, personality, and your family’s circumstances.
Strategies to help your child feel safe, adjust, and build resilience
Allow for Feelings. Acknowledge their emotions and let them know it’s okay to cry it out a little. Saying, “I know you’re disappointed that we have to leave the park right now and it’s okay to be sad when good times end,” lets your kids know what they’re feeling is normal, validated and okay.
Talk about the change. Talk about what will happen and what the change will mean for all of you. For example, if you will be moving , talk about how hard that is, how fun it is, and what to expect. Answer as many of your child’s questions as you can, such as how long the move will take, how far your new home is from school, and what you know about the school and town.
Listen. Let them talk it out. Make eye contact. Stop what you’re doing, put down your phone, and really listen to their feelings. Talk about the highs and lows of what they’re going through.
Keep Routines the Same. Bedtimes and mealtimes, in particular, should remain consistent. The structure feels safe for children, so provide as much of it as possible to restore a sense of safety.
Show your child the positive ways that you handle change. Talk about how you feel during times of change and about what you do to cope. For example, let your child see the lists you make to help you stay organized and focused.
Have a positive attitude. If you are confident about an upcoming change, your child will be too. Remember that children feel our emotions, so start by acknowledging and regulating your own feelings about the big change.
It may feel scary now, but you and your child will adjust to the change together. Along the way, you’ll learn new strategies and skills for handling the changes that inevitably occur in life.
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