What No One Tells You About Parenthood
What No One Tells You About Parenthood
The transition to parenthood challenges our self-identity and brings an emotional register
In this newsletter, we provide you with notes on What No One Tells You About Parenthood, an episode of Good Inside with Dr. Becky.
Hosted by Dr. Becky Kennedy, a popular parenting expert, on a mission to rethink the way we raise our children and the creator of Good Inside. She is joined by Myleik Teele, a multi-hyphenate career woman, mother of two young kids, and founder of CURLBOX.
Read our notes on the transition to parenthood.
Topics Covered in this Summary
Emotional Registries to Parenthood
Takeaway
Emotional Registries to Parenthood
There is a lot we gain when we have a baby, and there's a lot we lose or have to fight. The transition to parenthood challenges our self-identity and brings an emotional register, a new set of expectations and responsibilities, and transforms our daily lives.
Lets breakdown Emotional Registries:
Self-Emotional Registry
Having time for yourself after you've had a child is a battle, especially when they're a baby and they're so unpredictable. There is something about motherhood that if you’re not running yourself ragged, then you’re not a good mother.
People expect you to never look relaxed or refreshed to the degree that taking care of yourself away from a child leaves you with guilt.
We have to make an effort to preserve the things that used to feel good for us, such as going to brunch with our partner, shopping, going to the spa, etc. We need time away because we have needs for ourselves that aren't fulfilled by taking care of others.
Rather than read the guilt as a sign that you're doing something wrong, that discomfort is a sign you're doing something new.
Couple Emotional Registry
The transition to parenthood is a significant life event. Couples experience a variety of life changes as they make the transition from being partners to becoming parents.
You’re bringing a child into the world and it's important that you know about each other as much as possible. Compromise on how you do the parenting, discuss issues that concern you, and find ways to be supportive of each other in coping with the transition from partners to parents.
Your relationship sets the foundation for your new family. The more safe and connected you are as a couple, the more resilient you will be in coping with life challenges including parenthood.
Baby Emotional Registry
Babies start to develop relationships with the people around them right from birth, but the process of learning to communicate, share, and interact with others takes many years to develop.
When it comes to babies, we don't have to do any tricks to stop them from crying. The most powerful tool is our calm presence during our child's distress.
The less attached we are to our kid calming down and the more focused we are in just keeping ourselves calm, the faster a baby calms down because they feel that sturdiness from us. Our kids feel our energy and they feel whether we are able to stay grounded when they can't.
Takeaway
If we go into parenting with an open mind, we’ll realize that our kids teach us way more than we teach them and we watch them grow as we watch ourselves grow.
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Listen to the original episode